Relaxed Love Making: How Tina & Giorgio Rediscovered Intimacy After 10 Years of Marriage

In a world where sex is often portrayed as fast, intense, and goal-driven, many couples find themselves longing for something deeper, more connected, and more nourishing. This is what my clients Tina and Giorgio discovered when they explored a new approach to sex: relaxed love making.

What Is Relaxed Love Making?

Also known as slow sex, conscious intimacy, or simply making love, relaxed love making invites couples to shift their focus away from performance and orgasm – and into connection, presence, and pleasure. It’s about softening, slowing down, and allowing your bodies to meet without pressure or agenda.

A New Chapter in Their Relationship

Tina and Giorgio, both in their 50s and married for over a decade, had been working with me over several sessions to shift away from goal-based sex. Together, we explored how to move from “doing” to “being” – to relaxing in pleasure and seeing what emerges when there’s no pressure to perform.

In parallel, they had been reading the beautifully written books of Diana Richardson, a pioneer in the field of slow sex. Her work speaks so clearly to the transformation that’s possible when couples bring presence into the bedroom.

And last weekend, something truly shifted for Tina and Giorgio.

How They Created the Space for Love Making 

They chose a time during the weekend to connect – when they weren’t tired, distracted, or rushing. They ate earlier than usual, moved their bodies to release the tension of the day, and created a quiet, relaxed space where they could be fully present with each other.

These seemingly small decisions made a world of difference. So often, couples wait until bedtime to be intimate – only to find themselves too exhausted or stressed to connect. Tension and fatigue are not great ingredients for fulfilling love making. But when we create intentional space, our bodies and hearts can meet in a more open and connected way.

A Love Making Experience Like No Other

Tina shared that they had ‘never experienced anything like it’. She spoke of a ‘gentle energetic connection’ that was deeply heart-opening and continued to ripple into “more and more love.” Tina felt Giorgio’s presence at a whole new level and found this to be ‘really beautiful and healing’.

They both felt completely safe with each other – a feeling that’s often overlooked when we talk about pleasure. But safety is essential for real intimacy. It allows us to let go, to feel, and to open up more fully.

Overcoming Performance Anxiety and Embracing Softness

One of the most powerful moments came from Giorgio. He shared that the experience left him questioning everything he thought he knew about sex.

As he’s gotten older, Giorgio’s erections have changed – something many men experience, and often with quiet anxiety. They explored soft penetration, and what shocked him was that it wasn’t “second best” to hard penetration – it was actually better. Giorgio said it was the most meaningful connection he’d had with a vagina since he was born. Yes, really.

Giorgio described how his performance anxiety ‘melted away’ as he connected with Tina at a deep level.  He felt the intelligence of their genitals ‘communicating’ with each other and guiding the experience the more they relaxed. 

Why We Don’t See This Kind of Sex in the Media

What most people see in porn or movies is hot, heavy, and intense. There’s usually a clear beginning, middle, and end – with orgasm as the goal. But that’s not the only way. And for many, it’s not even the most fulfilling way.

What Tina and Giorgio experienced is a kind of sex that rarely gets talked about:

• Tender, loving, and deeply present
• Rooted in connection, not performance
• Free from expectations or pressure
• Expansive 
• Nourishing on a soul level

This is parasympathetic nervous system sex – sex that nourishes and restores. It’s love making bathed in oxytocin, the hormone of love, bonding and trust.

What’s Possible When You Slow Down

I share Tina and Giorgio’s story because it shows what’s possible when couples slow down, soften, and meet each other in a new way. Especially in long-term relationships, relaxed love making can bring a sense of renewal and deep connection and pleasure.

Whether you’re navigating changing bodies, performance worries, or a desire for deeper intimacy, there is another way. A way that honours your body, your heart, and your relationship.

Want to explore relaxed love making in your own relationship?

This is the kind of work I love to support couples with – reconnecting to your bodies and each other, creating safety, and discovering new ways to experience intimacy together.

You can read more about Soul Sex, my bespoke programme for couples, or The Making Love Retreat®, which I co-facilitate with my partner.

If you haven’t already, sign up to my newsletter to get a free ebook called ‘How relaxed love making can transform your sex life.’  

I also offer Soul Sex as a 1-1 programme for women. 

Enjoyed this blog? Check out ‘how to make love’.