“This is for me” is a phrase I learnt from Betty Martin’s wonderful work the wheel of consent and it’s a powerhouse of a phrase. Many of the women that I work with are so used to intimate pleasure being all about the other person. This is also true of some of...
Over the last 20 years I have listened to many many people talk about their sex lives. It’s an honour and a privilege every single time as people share with me things they have often never talked about before and over the years I’ve heard people talk a lot about how...
“This course showed me what I can do when I focus on myself.” Ju, 43 When I got the feedback for the last group programme I ran for women, the most consistent piece of feedback from the 20 participants was that they learnt how to put themselves first. It...
Susan came to the course feeling shut off from her sexual energy, and as she described ‘hopeless’ about her future. This course was her final attempt to see if change was possible and as she shared, her life has completely changed, more than she ever thought...
To change how you experience, pleasure, sex and intimacy takes practice, practice practice. When you approach sex with a goal in mind, usually a goal of heading towards some type of penetration and a climax, it’s like putting the same coordinates in the sat nav...
This is a revelation for many people that I work with. The women I work with often grow up to believe that their sexual energy is for other people and usually that means it’s for men - whether lovers or partners. This run so deep in our world. Just look at marketing...
Learning about sex in the hotch pot way that I did, I thought that I was meant to look sexy, act sexy, and that sex had to get faster faster and more intense as our bodies tensed before my partner and I exploded into orgasm, ideally at the same time. That became a...
Marion, 42, had been single for a while. She had a number of relationships when she was younger and couldn’t figure out why they didn’t work. When opportunities came along and someone wanted to get closer to her she ‘contracted’. She shared: “I never take them...
My clients think that they are the problem, that there is something ‘wrong’ with them. They think they are somehow ‘broken’ or they are a ‘failure’ at sex. It aches my heart knowing how many people in the world feel this way about themselves when I know 100%...
Anthi, in her mid-40s, reached out to me as intimacy with her long term partner had pretty much stopped. She found sex ‘scary and disgusting’. She grew up being told that sex was dirty, only men want it and women do it for the men. Over the years, sex was often when...