“This is for me” is a phrase I learnt from Betty Martin’s wonderful work the wheel of consent and it’s a powerhouse of a phrase.
Many of the women that I work with are so used to intimate pleasure being all about the other person. This is also true of some of the men I work with but to a lesser extent.
“This is for me” is a phrase I invite them to repeat like a mantra when they give themselves permission to take a break from their day to sit down with a cup of tea or have a nap.
“This is for me” is a phrase I invite them to repeat like a mantra when they give themselves some loving touch or when they are intimate with a partner. Especially when they are intimate with a partner and the wiring is so ingrained to please the other.
And, not just to repeat this as a mantra but to fully receive the goodness of what is happening in that moment. To breathe it into every cell of their being, rewiring their experience, to feel is safe to receive, that is healthy to receive, that it is natural to receive, that it is pleasurable to receive.
For some women this stage brings awareness to the things that stop them receiving – the people pleasing, the guilt, fear or shame. This is just the first stage and if you think this might be you – it can take time to move through these, and always to move through with gentleness.
For other women there is a visceral sense of relief, a dropping into themselves “wow this really is for me” a woman said. I have seen tears flow and smiles grow.
Today I invite you to take time for you. To do something nourishing, pleasurable, delicious. And as you do it say “this is for me” and breath it in and as you do, notice what happens. I’d love to hear.
If this touches something in you and you are curious about working with me, you can read about Pleasure Mastery, my 1-1 coaching programme for women and Intimacy Mastery for couples. You can book a complimentary call with me to get clear on where you are now, where you are desiring to be and what is possible for you. Book a call here and do message me if you have any questions at all.
