There has been a huge growth especially in the last 5 years of sexuality teachers, coaches, courses and workshops etc which is of course wonderful. When I started exploring this work nearly twenty years ago there was very little available and you really had to search it out so it’s incredible to see sexuality coming out of the shadows, elevating what is possible for our intimate lives.
‘The curse of the multi O goddess’ is a phrase I have given to something I have been observing the last few years. This started from clients and women at workshops sharing how they felt about the ‘rise of the multi O goddess’.
I want to set the scene by saying that being a multi O goddess can be a wonderful thing. I can be one myself and seeing more and more women heal, love and celebrate their sexuality is beautiful to witness. There are many grounded and wonderful teachers to explore your sexuality with.
However, with the growth in teachers, coaches, courses and workshops, is the rise of the ’sexual superwoman’ – she’s a rockstar at everything, squirting and orgasming daily out of every crack and crevice. I jest but you get the gist! This feeds into the societal and consumerist narratives of ‘do more’, ‘be more’ and ‘achieve more’.
The women I speak with feel a pressure to be ‘sexually perfect’ imagining this looks like being a ’multi O sex goddess’ 24/7. The women I speak with feel so far away from being a multi O goddess that they feel a sense of shame that they are not in this place. This can reinforce a sense of feeling broken, feeling that something is ‘wrong’ with them, or that they are ‘not enough’ as they are.
For some women I speak with, becoming a multi O goddess becomes a goal, something they strive for, feeling it as a pressure to achieve rather than a joyful exploration. This has left them feeling frazzled as they push themselves to get there, moving at a speed beyond their capacity. Or, they are beating themselves up for not being ‘there’.
If this speaks to you, I want you to know that you are not alone and there is NOTHING wrong with you and you are not broken in any way if you are not multi orgasmic. I want you to know that it does not make you any less of a woman or a sexual being or a women if you are not multi orgasmic.
If this is you, I invite you to…
Let go of trying to be ‘sexually perfect’. As with any kind of ‘perfectionism’ you imagine it doesn’t exist.
If you feel you ‘should’ do anything, it’s worth checking it out – Why do you feel you ‘should’? Who says you ‘should’? Do you really want to do this?
Don’t make being a multi O goddess another goal you feel pressurised to achieve or something else to beat yourself up about. If it is something you want to do, fill your boots. Do it with heaps of curiosity and kindness and enjoy the journey of exploration and learning.
Do it in your way. Just because something worked for one person doesn’t mean it will work for you or in a way that you will enjoy it. I fully celebrate my clients when I suggest something and they come back to me and they have adapted the practice or found a way that works better for them. Be inspired by others, learn from others but ultimately you are your best and most important teacher. To me, the true journey, is coming home to your natural, native self. To re/discover your body, your pleasure and what feels true for you. To discover what makes you feel good. To discover what makes you feel happy. And that might be becoming a multi orgasmic goddess. It might not. Whatever you decide is right for you.
If you are reading this and can relate to this I’d love to hear your thoughts. I share this in the hope that this is helpful to you in some way. And I promise you, you are not the only one feeling this way.
If this touches something in you and you are curious about working with me, you can read about Pleasure Mastery, my 1-1 coaching programme for women and Intimacy Mastery for couples. You can book a complimentary call with me to get clear on where you are now, where you are desiring to be and what is possible for you. Book a call here and do message me if you have any questions at all.
